malcolm in the middle was the realest show
lmao get on my level
things life is too short for:
- hating yourself
- pretending to laugh at “jokes” that are actually just bigoted statements
- not singing along to your favorite songs
- waiting hours to text someone back just to look cool
- bad coffee
- bad books
- mean people
- body shaming
- letting other people dictate your life
- larry’s storyline
but it’s like
100% girls r hot
an 23% boys r hot
OK BUT CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO REALIZE HOW FUCKING TRUE THIS IS
God I bet..
I bet Sam fucking LOVES having guests. So he actually made a fucking massive breakfast for them, and he doesn’t know what these guys eat - Natasha’s tiny, so Sam makes a fruit salad, but then, maybe Steve (who’s huge) likes fruit salad too, so he ends up with a punchbowl full of fruit. But then also waffles and pancakes, and eggs… though who knows how these people eat their eggs? Sam likes scrambled, but he boils some just in case, and sets up a frying pan in case either of them wants fried. Better put some water on to boil in case someone wants poached…. While he has the eggs out, might as well make french toast. But then actually, Natasha’s european, right? They like that weird-ass continental breakfast shit, so he rolls up some little bits of ham and cheese, which looks weird without croissants and muffins and whatnot so he nips out to get some. And some juice. And some tea. And some hair straighteners.
And so Natasha eats a few bits of everything, but Steve… well Steve grew up during a time where you did not waste food - clearing your plate is ingrained in him, so. Yeah, he did have a big breakfast. He had all the breakfast.
And some hair straighteners.
"Your highness" is gender neutral.
So you know, if you’re ever confused about my pronouns.
alternatively, “your majesty,” “my liege,” and “supreme overlord”
please note that “your grace” is also acceptable
i have a point to prove to my mom. i want 6 million or more notes. maybe then she will stop acting like someone caused me to “think” this. or that it’s the same as being gay.
Sorry not sorry.
The men of tumblr unite. Because this is more than fighting the patriarchy, this is fighting for the voice of the people.
THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THE PATRIARCHY WAS UP TO?
I’M ON MY WAY.
Who is this how did you get this numb—THE PATRIARCHY IS DOING WHTA
SAVE SOME PATRIARCH BLOOD FOR US
3:01PM SYDNEY TIME
AW HELL NO
I’M COMIN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THEY DON’T LET ME ON A PLANE
Fucking bro strider come out!! Omg HAHAHAAH I love theses guys
Meanwhile In England……
"Jolly great bit of Tea"
"THE PATRIARCHY DOING WHAT!?!!?!?!"
"Those Bloody Wankers!!!!!!"
"It Looks Like Tea Time Is Going To Have To Wait"
"It’s A Jolly Good Thing I kept My Old Equipment…."
"All Right Old Chaps, Im On My Way!!!"
I just reblogged this, but IT GOT BETTER.
Ladies and gentlemen, the British.
Fucking tally ho omggggg
the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up
deep thoughts from an anus
do not flirt with women when they are at work
do not take advantage of women who are in situations where they cannot say no or be blunt
When your teacher is nice but can’t fucking teach
When your teacher is mean but teaches really good
what you fail to realize is that video games shouldn’t cater to females in the first place. It’s largely known that it’s targeted towards the MALE demographic and has been for so many years, so why would they ask for something like that to be handed to them on a goddamn silver platter?
that’s like a guy walking into the women’s department of clothing at a sears and demanding that there be more clothing for men there. Separation of sections be damned.
that’s not how it fucking works
no not really
the game industry is more like walking into a regular department store and seeing that all the clothes are only men’s clothes
and when you ask the cashier where the women’s clothing section is, they wheel out a small rack of cheaply made tutus, g-strings, and high heels all in bright pink
and then when you go “wow really that’s it” you get called an uppity bitch and everybody assumes you want all the focus on you when in reality you’d just like to be considered a worthwhile demographic since you also like to wear clothes, it’s not like you want some ridiculous getup, you just want a solid shirt and pair of pants that fits you alright.
I mean hell you even sort of like men’s clothes and you have no problem wearing them. They suit you well. But it’s very obvious once you throw on a pair of men’s pants that they were not made for you.
Perfect metaphor is perfect.
Reblogging for public shaming.